As a kid, I hated getting dressed in the morning. Almost all my
clothes — especially anything formal or “girly” like tights and dresses —
caused my skin to feel tight and a knot to develop in the pit of my
stomach. I wish I could say I’d outgrown the experience, but
unfortunately it’s still a common occurrence. The only partial remedy
I’ve found is to wear the least restrictive and least gendered clothing I
can find. What in the 80s and 90s was stirrup pants and baggy
sweatshirts has become jeans and t-shirts.

This means that for years I’ve been the most under-dressed individual
at holiday gatherings and parties. Fortunately, this hasn’t caused
conflicts with others, just a self-imposed embarrassment. When
absolutely necessary, I’ve pulled old dresses out of the closet and
“suited up,” choosing to view my attire as part of a conscious drag
performance. But my patience with even that gender game has waned
recently. Dresses just don’t feel like an option anymore.

But wearing traditional men’s formal apparel feels like just as much
of a drag performance. The boxy or flour-sack suit jackets and tapered
slacks.  (Just the word “slacks” makes me gag a bit.)

I’ve managed to avoid formal-wear situations for a while now, but my
luck is about to run out. While I’m really happy to be attending my
sibling’s wedding in a few months, it’s causing quite the clothing
panic. I want to be truly present at this joyous occasion, and whatever
outfit I’m wearing, I want to own it.

I just need to figure out what it is.

For inspiration, I recently searched the Web for queer clothing resources. Here’s some highlights of what I found:

• DapperQ.
  What is a DapperQ? A DapperQ is defined as “a transgressor of men’s
  fashion. An authentic, courageous genderbender who uses fashion
  as a means to expressing our ever-evolving capacity to advance
  change.” This mammoth site has a wealth of information for
  fashion-obsessed butch, trans-masculine, etc., people — from style
  advice to designer profiles to encouragement to live at the
  “intersection between personal authenticity and style.”
• 

  The Steampunk Collection from Marimacho

  Marimacho.
  Marimacho is a small, Brooklyn-based clothing line for “cis women and
  transmasculine bodies.” Right now they have a limited line of dress
  shirts, sportcoats, and bow ties, but I hope they’ll be offering more
  soon. What makes Marimacho clothing different from traditional
  “menswear”? “We make classic masculine garments with narrower armholes
  and necklines, shorter sleeve lengths, more bust room, etc. In this way,
  we offer cis women, trans men and gender queer folks the same standards
  of fit and style available in mainstream menswear.”

• Duchess Clothier. Definitely not in everyone’s budget, Duchess Clothier makes made-to-measure suits.
  

  A custom suit from Duchess Clothier. Photo Credit: Jessica Watson, jessicawatsonphotography.com

  But what makes Duchess different from other made-to-measure or
  bespoke tailors is that they, in their own words, “absolutely LOVE being
  able to provide perfectly fitting masculine suits for a natural (or
  bound) female frame…” They make drool-worthy clothes with an
  understanding of the unique needs of genderqueer and trans bodies (in
  addition to making clothes for cis women and men). If you’re near San
  Francisco or Portland and could use a finely tailored suit, you should
  check them out.

• Genderplayful. I can’t wait until this off-shoot of Genderfork
  is up-and-running. Genderplayful will be a online marketplace for
  people to buy and sell “androgynous, unisex, butch, dapper, femme,
  gender-bending, gender-transgressive, and gender-fanflippingtastic
  clothing solutions for all kinds of bodies.” You can read more about the
  project on Genderplayful’s Tumblr page.

These Web sites have kept me inspired while I keep looking for the
clothes that work for me. If you have any other genderqueer clothing
resources to share, please comment below.