As a recent contributor to MN United For All Families (I gave
$10), I am now a part of their e-mail list. Their latest email, entitled
“Family,” began with the statement:
Nothing says ‘family’ like marriage.
The email then featured the story of the Retain family. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYxvkL6CAWQ&feature=youtu.be
Below is my open letter:
–
To Whom It May Concern:
I am a queer woman who recently contributed to your campaign to
protect Minnesotans’ freedom to marry. However, I am quite disappointed
with your latest email.
protect Minnesotans’ freedom to marry. However, I am quite disappointed
with your latest email.
“Nothing says family like marriage” was quite a distressing message.
While marriage is an important right, it is also an exclusive and
fraught institution. To say that it is the only legitimizing force in
relationships invalidates strong relationships and commitments and those
who are passionately non-partnered. Additionally, it silences the
importance of alternate families that many LGBTQ people (and especially
youth) form as a means of creating a safe support network. Family means
so many things beyond marriage, and communities within the larger LGBTQ
identity spectrum are a part of that (particularly drag performers).
fraught institution. To say that it is the only legitimizing force in
relationships invalidates strong relationships and commitments and those
who are passionately non-partnered. Additionally, it silences the
importance of alternate families that many LGBTQ people (and especially
youth) form as a means of creating a safe support network. Family means
so many things beyond marriage, and communities within the larger LGBTQ
identity spectrum are a part of that (particularly drag performers).
I ask that you consider apologizing to your email list, which must
represent a very diverse group of people with many different approaches
to and experiences with both marriage and family. A triggering and
silencing message is one that I hope was not intended, but whose impact
must be acknowledged.
represent a very diverse group of people with many different approaches
to and experiences with both marriage and family. A triggering and
silencing message is one that I hope was not intended, but whose impact
must be acknowledged.
I stand with you in solidarity in your fight for marriage equality,
but not at the expense of marginalizing those within our community.
but not at the expense of marginalizing those within our community.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Eliza Schwartz