Breathe: An Interview with Andrea Jenkins

I am lucky to know Andrea D. Jenkins, a Twin-Cities
based Political Artist/Activist, and a personal role model and friend.
She was gracious enough to speak with me in an interview, below.


ES: What are some identities that are important to you?

AJ: My primary identity is African American transgender artist.

ES: What is your writing process like?

AJ: My writing process…you know, it’s sort of a difficult process to
explain, but I’ll try!  It’s really a daily process if you
will.  My process includes journaling daily. About ten years ago, I
was introduced to a book by Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way.
In the book, it talks about the morning pages and waking up in the
morning before you get your day going…just write, three pages. It’s
partly exercise, partly identifying what’s on your mind, and really just
getting yourself in the practice of writing.  And I’m amazed. So
probably for the past ten years, I’ve literally written almost every
day, at least three pages- sometimes more.  At first, it was
somewhat disturbing to me, like ‘why can’t I write?’ But when graduate
school was over, I got back to writing daily.  One of the key
things it does it lets me know that I have this muscle, that I can
write.  When I’m walking around thinking about a specific project,
at some point, it’s like stirring soup. You’ve got all these ingredients
in there, and then it’s ready!  And then I write.
Certainly there’s editing, and sometimes I’ll share it with other
people.  I really like to read my work out in public, poetry or
essay, and that gives me a sense of how it reads in the air and sounds
on other people’s ears.
I co-curate a Queer Voices Reading Series with
John Medeiros.  He and I have created this safe space for writers
and artists to share.  With artists and with writers, the point is
to take risks.  “You can’t play safe and make art,” that’s a quote
by Gertrude Stein.

ES: My favorite line of your poetry is from “Influences,” where
you say: “my poetry is influenced by wimmin loving womyn and puppies”.
What is your favorite line?

AJ: You know, all of my poetry, I love.  All of the lines are my
babies.  It’s so funny ‘cause, when I’m having a conversation with
someone and an issue will pop up that I’ve written a poem about, I have
a line a poem that speaks to that.  You know, that poem that you
quoted, “Influences,” I don’t know why, but I really love that. 
It’s probably one of the poems that I read almost every reading that I
do.  And from that poem, I would say my favorite line is “my
poetry is influenced by my trans sista’s and trans brotha’s whose
struggle remains under the radar, until it is time to use the
bathroom.” 
That line really influences my whole reading
career.  It’s a good question, Emily, because it really pushes me
to ask…where is this urge to write, this urge to create coming
from?  What is compelling me?  And I think that line gets at
it.

ES: Do you have a favorite drag performer? If so, who?

AJ: Bebe Zahara Benet. She
is Parisian-born from Cameroon.  She lives and works now in New
York City, but she lived and worked in Minneapolis for a long
time.  She was the winner of the first season of RuPaul’s Drag
Race, but she’s a really dear friend of mine.  She is the most
creative drag queen I have ever met.  She does stage shows, theater
in New York, did a one-woman show beyond her drag performance. 
She produced a modeling, coffee table book just of her in all of these
wonderfully beautiful costumes.  The name of the book is called
“Bella Donna”.

ES: What book do you always recommend to friends/comrades?
AJ: I was on a panel last night, I’m a fellow at the Playwright’s Center,
the Many Voices Fellowship for writers of color. They read our plays
last night and did an artists talk back.  They asked me my
influences, and I  brought this book: Break Every Rule: Essays on Language, Longing, and Moments of Desire,
written by a Brown University professor, Carole Maso.  It’s my
go-to book, whenever I am stuck in my conventional ways of thinking
about language.  She plays with language so intensely and
subversively.  It opens me up to be able to say things in a new
way.  It’s one book that I always refer to on my own, but I also
refer others to it as well.
The book I’m recommending to everyone right now: The Warmth of Other Suns
by Isabel Wilkerson. The title came from a line from a Richard Wright
novel.  But this is a non-fiction book that documents the migration
of African Americans from the South to the North.  She tells the
story in a very unique way.  You can understand that Blacks left
the South because of Jim Crow, right? It tells this story through three
different people.  It’s very personal and very scholarly.  You
can tell a universal story by being very personal, and vice
versa.  And so, by using just three individuals, it allows her to
expand it and make it relevant.

ES: What word or piece of advice do you live by (at the moment).
AJ: Breathe.

anna goes to hustler hollywood

on the gorgeous minneapolis fall saturday we enjoyed this
weekend, i did something i hadn’t done in almost two years:  shop
in a sex toy store.  i never took the time in my 9 months in korea
to see if there were any sex toy stores, partly because my experience
watching korean porn at a love motel 3 weeks in, complete with
pixilated, nintendo-like penises and pussies, did not leave me psyched
to experience that side of korean culture.

once i returned to america, i did not have the cash to spend on toys
as i was slowly working my way back towards full employment, not to
mention that from my own sex toy slinging days i still have toys that i
have never used (i’ll get to you one day, fling) or have almost never used (you’re awesome pure wand, but you’re so heavy!).

so for the last two years, all of my sex toy browsing has been
limited to the internet, which is fine, especially since i like reading
reviews.  however, i know after years of experience that a toy is
rarely the exact size that it looks like on the interwebs, and strong
vibration to one person is fucking weak to the next.  i really
missed floor models, and the joy of examining a new toy in
person.   so i finally got around to checking out hustler hollywood, which moved into my neighborhood a few weeks ago.

unfortunately, i missed the chance to meet larry flynt,
who was in-store for the grand opening on september 6th.  i would
have enjoyed the opportunity to meet him and tell him that even though i
don’t agree with all of his aesthetic choices and wish that hustler
would expand their ideas about what is sexy, that i appreciate what he
has done fighting for free speech and fighting against censorship.

it doesn’t even matter though, because i had a great fucking time
browsing in there on saturday.  brittany (i apologize knowing
there’s a good chance i’m spelling that wrong) and shannon were
extremely helpful, friendly, and knowledgeable, and i had a fantastic,
long conversation with brittany about all kinds of toys.

hustler hollywood has a great selection of high-end toys, which i
definitely appreciate, because i believe you get what you pay for, and
what could be more worthy of spending money on than something that is
going to give you many phenomenal orgasms? fun factory, lelo, and jimmy
jane, oh, my!

out of the toys i had never seen in person before, i was most excited about the jimmy jane form 2 and form 3
vibrators.  they’re really strong and have lovely sleek little
charging stands that they stand up nicely on.   brittany said
that the form 2 is a favorite of hers, and i couldn’t help but feel like
if and when i am pressed to choose between buying one of the two, i
would go with the form 2 because it’s really unique.  shaped like
matt groening bunny ears, each side has its own motor and the two ears
nuzzle your clit on each side.  it’s also small enough that it
looks like it would very work well for partner sex in a variety of
positions.  the form 3, which is shaped like a tongue and has a
smooth, flat, flexible center that’s thin enough so that you can
essentially use your finger and the vibrator to stimulate your clit,
looks fucking cool and probably is in practice too.  but
ultimately, it’s not different enough from a regular vibrator to me that
i would shell out for it, unless i stumble into some mad cash or i get a
gig reviewing toys and get to try it out that way.

i had already seen (or own in many cases) most of lelo’s toys in real life, except for the siri and the mona,
but it was fun to get to finally hold them too.  i was excited to
see that they’re expanding out of vibrators and insertable toys into
other accessories like silk wrist cuffs, tassled suede whips, and a really sexy little feather teaser
i have a feather teaser, and one of the reasons i almost never use it
is because of the stupid long wand that they pretty much always have.
i’m not a wizard, guys. just give me a cute little handle so i can hold
the damned thing.  well done, lelo.  you rockin’ swedes have
impressed me yet again.

as for fun factory, i was pleased to see that they carried the full
gamut of their excellent vibrators, both internal and external.  i
was also delighted that they have a full stock of my all-time favorite
dildo, the curve
they even had it in black, which if i ever decide to buy a back up in
case i lose mine somehow, i will totally get.  i recommended it
emphatically to brittany, and she seemed set on getting one for herself.

she and i also had a great discussion about people’s obsession with
waterproof vibrators and being able to do it in the shower/tub, which
led to a discussion of our shared dislike of taking baths. i told her
about the blog i wrote,
and what my thesis was, and she brought up a potential contributing
factor that i hadn’t considered, that some mothers might find the
bathroom to be the most convenient, or at least inconspicuous, place to
masturbate.   thinking about it more though, i feel like loud
buzzing coming from the bathroom is going to come off just about the
same as buzzing coming from the bedroom, unless you regularly use an
electric razor that you can attribute the sound to.

the only other vibrator that i was really excited about seeing was the we vibe salsa.
the entire time i sold sex toys i was praying for the day that a
rechargeable cordless bullet that could fit into silicone toys would
come out on the market, and it finally fucking did.  i don’t have
any real reason to get one personally, but it is a superior little vibe.
 the vibration was fucking strong, it’s super portable, and has
really nice pulse patterns.  it would make for a great travel
vibrator even if you didn’t need it for a silicone toy.

in an effort to get nurses out of my dvd drive, i bought another digital playground feature, babysitters 2
for some reason, i am just a sucker for their production value. i swear
someone who went to film school is storyboarding the shit out of those
scenes.   it doesn’t have james deen, but it does have stoya,
and a grand total of 7 men, so odds are at least one of them will be
hot.  plus evan stone is in it, and his short haircut cracks me up.

while their selection of porn is pretty mainstream, i was glad to see that they carry all of the vivid ed series,
probably the greatest instructional dvd series ever.  the only two
items that they do not carry (other than indie porn) that i would
really liked to have seen is the eroscillator and hathor aphrodisia
hustler does sell some soft toys that are not made from medical-grade
silicone. don’t buy them and you’ll be fine.  their staff can tell
you which toys are and are not medical-grade silicone.

a note to the fellas, i did not spend a lot of time looking at toys
for guys, although i saw a newer fun factory prostate stimulator, duke, that looks pretty baller.   but i asked, and i know they carry nexus and rude boy
products, and a variety of styles of cock rings. so it sounds like a
solid selection. when i go back, i’ll try to focus more on the selection
for men and write about it, i was just too excited about all the
vibrators to get to it this trip.

if you are looking to go shop for some new toys in a store with nice
displays, talented, friendly staff, and some great high-end sex toys,
head on over to hustler hollywood on 24th and hennepin.  afterwards, you can make the short half-block trip to the cockpit project and see what’s new in wooden paddles.

welcome to the neighborhood, guys. i’ll be seein’ ya.

and on the seventh day, they masturbated: is it possible to reconcile modern sexuality with that old time religion?

“no more drugs for me. pussy and religion is all i need.”

- kanye

in the last week or so, i stumbled upon an article discussing focus on the family’s new warning about how women are being seduced by “emo-porn.” 
i had never visited focus on the family’s website before, but knowing
full well that i was going to read some dubious and unsettling shit, i
carried on to the source text to investigate.

the author (a man, of course, because who better to talk about the
private sexual thoughts of women) genders the shit out of human
emotional and sexual needs, and manages to insult both genders as much
as possible in the process:

loneliness strikes at the heart of both husbands and wives, but
tends to plunge deeper into the emotional expanse of women. this is one
reason why wives are seduced by “emo-porn,” virtual infidelity that is
more emotionally satisfying before it physically pleases. but like salt
water, it creates a worsening thirst. with emo-porn, fantasy men perform
stunningly between the sheets of conversation, emotional understanding,
and emotional dexterity. most mortal men cannot deliver such behavior,
the way men do in soap operas and romance novels. just as wives rightly
complain when compared to the artificially created women of internet
porn, men should complain when compared to the artificial men of daytime
television.

oh, where to begin?  first of all, i get so tired of hearing
about how women are more lonely in relationships than men.  even if
there is lack of emotional intimacy in a heterosexual relationship,
women tend to have more emotionally-intimate platonic relationships and
are therefore probably less lonely overall than men.

secondly, “most mortal men” can’t deliver on emotional competency?
wow, way to set the bar fucking low for yourself and your gender. nicely
done.  i know a lot of great guys who are not emotionally
incompetent, and who would never try to use their identification as a man to get out of giving a fuck in their relationships.

thirdly, so plastic surgery and being a compassionate and engaged
lover are the same unrealistic expectation are they? is this how you
picture the fight over that going down?

man: get ass implants!

woman: get a heart, asshole!

and seriously, men on daytime tv? i watched days of our lives for an entire summer in fifth grade, and i recall fucking everyone being emotionally incompetent/batshit crazy on that show, regardless of gender.

later on, he makes a rather bold statement that women engage in
pornography as a vindictive plot to get back at their husbands, rather
than a way to, you know, own their sexuality or ability to derive
pleasure from erotic materials:

one reason why pornography is more attractive to wives than
husbands is its capacity for secretive retribution. through concealed
romps with other men, wives say they feel like they have “gotten back”
at their husbands for hurting them for behaviors they committed or
didn’t commit. it’s a passive-aggressive way of handling conflict
without going through the difficult work of actually creating
resolution.

this is so stupid it hurts.  it also gets to the heart of what
bothers me about the conservative christian attitude about sex, which is
that the only person enjoying sex and masturbation, or who should be
enjoying it, is the man.

this gets echoed throughout the other articles in this series on pornography and infidelity, written by various authors, many from the mid-nineties.  in the pornography and lies
section, two authors present five lies that pornography teaches men
about women (note how it can’t teach women anything, because apparently
in 1996 women never ever watched pornography):

1. women are less than human

2. women are a sport

3. women are property

4. a woman’s value depends on the attractiveness of her body

5. women like rape

this section is complicated, in part because it is so fucking
outdated (it’s 2011, guys! get some new fucking content).  it is
also complicated because i don’t necessarily disagree that some straight
pornography has enforced or could enforce some of these ideas. however,
i strongly disagree with making pornography a monolithic entity,
especially one that is characterized as solely negative with no
redeeming value.  the adult industry has changed a lot in the last
15 years, and while there are still huge strives to be made, there is a
ton of great straight indie porn that does enforce any of the aforementioned “lies” of pornography.

disturbingly, these same authors, in the stages of pornography addiction
section, not only equate pornography use with cocaine or heroin use,
but also make it sound like any dabbling in pornography whatsoever will
eventually lead you to having fantasies about raping women, a claim
which they (or one of them at least) tries to substantiate by telling
how this happened to him,  and that eventually he “tried it one
night” but also somehow “didn’t go through with it” yet still got
arrested and ended up in jail:

after being reported, arrested and spending some time in jail, i
finally was able to begin the process of weeding out the lies in my life
that porn had put there.  other men aren’t so lucky. i realize now
that with just a little push, i could have gone over the edge. i could
have raped that woman and then killed her to cover my tracks. that’s how
ted bundy got started. when the porn he was addicted to wasn’t enough
anymore, he tried the real thing — rape, and then murder. when he
succeeded, he did it again. and again. pornography addiction is very
serious.

whoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa. holy shit. i was expecting some pretty
terrible shit going onto this website, but this section damn near left
me speechless. what. the. fuck.

throughout the website, the conflicting messages about what is in the
best interest of women go on and on.  many of these authors claim
explicitly that they want to protect women from being dehumanized or
objectified in pornography, but also claim that the man’s sex drive is god’s gift to you (written by a woman no less) and includes an entire section on understanding men’s sexual needs,
while no such section exists on the website about understanding women’s
sexual needs. call me crazy, but having the importance of your sexual
needs completely ignored by someone who is claiming to look out for you,
is a surefire way to feel dehumanized.

obviously, focus on the family does not (or at least i hope does not)
represent the majority of christians in america.   i am sure
(or at least i hope i’m sure) that there are a great deal of christians
who are more open minded and enlightened about pornography than what
focus on the family would like people to believe.  not all of them
prescribe to the idea that porn and masturbation are a means for petty
revenge or the cause of severe mental health problems and/or misogyny.
and while i only have one, i do have a personal anecdote that supports
that idea.

one time when i was working selling sex toys, i was giving a store
tour to a group of women cancer survivors, explaining the many joys and
benefits of masturbation and how to utilize each type of toy.

after i was done giving the tour, i made myself available to answer
any individual questions.  a pretty, tall, blond, married woman in
her thirties asked me to help her pick out some erotica.  i asked
her if there was anything thematically that she was looking for in
particular.  the answer was something like this:

her: well, i’m a christian…

me: [thinking] oh, boy…

her: so it’s important that there’s no devil worship or anything like that in the story.

me: [thinking] oh.

i assured her that there is plenty, and i mean plenty, of erotica
that has no trace of devil worship of other satanic rituals
whatsoever.  i had at least paged through just about every erotica
anthology that we carried in the store, and i could not pull to mind one
instance of such a theme.

i pointed her towards sweet life: erotic fantasies for couples, figuring the violet blue edited anthology aimed at heterosexual couples would be a safe bet for her.

i hope it worked out for her, and i hope she told her other christian friends that not all erotic material is the devil.

 

Queering the State Fair

Yesterday
was the last day of the Minnesota State Fair. For those of you who
aren’t from Minnesota, you might not get the whole State Fair thing, but
in Minnesota people get into it big time. The fried food, the animal
judging, the crafts and canning and musical acts. It’s a throwback to
another era. I ask you, where else can you see a llama costume contest
and eat batter fried cheese curds in the same day?

As much as I love the State Fair it’s not usually a very queer event and is sometimes even downright homophobic. This year columbusgohome.com
reported that anti-gay marriage activists were granted a last minute
state fair booth, while gay rights advocates were denied a last minute
booth.

Fair-going gay rights activists took matters into their own hands, glitter bombing the homophobic booth from the Skyglider ride.

 

Patricia
Mack, a senior citizen from Minneapolis, expressed her opinions about
love and equality through seed art. Her 5th place seed art said “love
includes” spelled out in black beans.

In the most promising of gay state fair news, Minnesotans  taking a poll conducted by the Minnesota House of Representatives seem reluctant to pass the  marriage amendment.

“Of the record 12,549 people participating in the 2011 House of
Representatives State Fair Poll, 66.5 percent said the state
constitution should not be amended to define marriage as “only a union
of one man and one woman,” while 29.8 percent believe the constitution
should be changed.”

Maybe the state fair is getting a little queerer as time goes on.

Rape Culture & Comedy

I wanted to talk about the recent  incident at the Del Close
Marathon, an improv festival in NY, where an audience member shared a
“date rape confession” in front of a packed house. (As one friend of
mine noted, it’s unclear why it was called date rape, as they weren’t on
a date.)

The monologist disclosed that the woman in his story was extremely
drunk (an amusing tidbit, perhaps even a justification), and then
graphically described and gestured to describe violent sex, which ended
with: “we didn’t do anything fancy; she just basically lied there and
let me do my business.”

Many improvisers and blogs have already covered the event and with eloquence, including Poupak Sepheri, who illuminated the incident on her Tumblr: http://poupak.tumblr.com/post/9390393469/on-the-subject-of-rape
Some of the questions I am still processing are: what does it mean to
be a spectator of this? How should an improviser deal with it onstage?
How do we deal with the conversations afterward? Is there an appropriate
place to intervene and just call this out- where? The overwhelming
response of improvisers, from what I can see, is one of concern and
discomfort.  Improv, known for its spontaneity, can lead to the
“uncensored” flow of ideas or views.  But this is different. One
alarming response I received was from a male friend of mine, an
improviser.  When I shared the story with him, he responded by
saying that while this really creeped him out, he kind of felt bad for
the monologist.  This is rape culture, where someone who publicly
gloats about rape is publicly criticized, and some people pity
him.  Perhaps my friend worries that he might say something he
regrets in front of a packed audience, that they might collude with rape
culture. Comedy has always been about pushing the envelope, but I
believe that its aim is to push the envelope to critique normative and
oppressive culture(s) that include rape culture.

And this piece is right on:  http://womenincomedyfestival.blogspot.com/2011/08/no-offense-white-boys-diversity-in.html 
Pam Victor gets it right because she advocates for the constant
expansion of improv culture to include more voices of people of color,
women, LGBTQ-identified improvisers, and people of all ages, sizes, and
abilities.  She advocates for the creation of spaces that challenge
dominant culture and rape culture, that move beyond a token presence of
difference to a diverse space that, if in the situation where an
audience member graphically gloats about rape, it is expected to
interrupt, rather than collude, with the discomfort and oppression.